In light of recent events, where in a very famous poet and performance artist Shamir Reuben is accused by more than a couple of girls to be a perpetuator of non contact sexual abuse for underage girls, and in same cases contact sexual abuse.
My mind had rambled on some points….
Relationships today are very different from relationships a couple of years back. We need to educate ourselves in an upgraded, online world. So where do we start, we start with our younger generation, we teach them boundaries and CSA. But we don’t teach them healthy relationships. We need to move beyond the extreme wrongs and teach children about the grey area… but as adults we need to first talk about Internet relationships…. We need to talk about internet boundaries… We need to talk about saying no on the internet… We need to talk about the security of hearing and accepting a NO… we need to stop and rethink of love in the light or green glare on the screen light.
Most of our relationships have a huge screen component, be it chats, calls or stalking profiles. This is new in the market of love, we need to accept that and teach ourselves safety. Just like crossing the road or using floats on the first day to learn swimming. We need to be open to learning and understanding boundaries, to accept change and be willing to change.
We are seeing this gamut of popular people who are otherwise very vocal about social movement like women empowerment, feminism, mental health, body shaming – how can they not see, what they are doing wrong? How can they write so eloquently about and issue, move us, make us cry and think and relate and …. how can they not see what they are doing crosses a line?
To save humans .. I blame it on our confounding internet. Let me try to see if I can make some sense for you. We have the #metoo moment, where not just women but also men spoke about the importance of consent, the ill effects of jokes, puns and general trashy seemly non consequential talk. that leads to gender disparity, inequality and to some extend even abuse. But at the same time me have ‘friendzone’ memes- which trash consent, make cheap jokes about women expressing NO too often.
we have #bodypositivity and #selflove moments that talk about embracing bodies without labels of size, shape, couture, colour or fruit and objects for that matter, but at the same time we have a dirty of #before&after pictures which again talk about ideal body weight and celebrate the effects of starving, excessive exercise, perseverance and hard work to be thin… not healthy…. thin.
We have #girlswhodrinkbeer in retaliation of a minster conforming to gender stereotype. Then we have meme’s about our PM making a joke about a women laughing in the parliament.
Since the past 2 days our internet pages are full of a school girl’s eye movements been sexualised. We still go for movies that glamorise love stories of children before they pass the 10th grade.
We take part in queer rallies as its cool, make weird banners about body hair, dress size and pay difference (i think you missed the name of the rally.)We take part in it and show the world that we believe in the free will to love and cherish any person and over and above accept people as they are…… it’s love in its purest form.. and then we have events and moments to scream ‘Pyaar Ek Dhoka Hai’ to oppose any kind of love..
My list of contradiction won’t end, but what it calls attention to, is the need to understand. That everything, mostly everything on the internet is dichotomous. Most of it is projected to gain something in return- likes, retweets, traction, hearts, comments, reach… so we need to learn to understand the internet.. How it impacts our relationship, our ideology, our self esteem, our concept of self.. as a lot of ourself is online now.