The few who are looking at me walk down the street of Bombay. I know how we walk, we walk with our hands outstretched to haul a willing rickshaw guy to take us to our preferred destination. And while I have a dozen things on my mind I happen to look at this one guy standing near a bike looking at passerby.
As is my job I wonder what is his motivation? Then was more curious by the thought that occurred in my head.
What will he think about me?
Which made all the other thoughts in my head evaporate… I was curious. I wondered if he thinks I am peculiar, can he see my anxiety, can he see I am keeping it together by creating so much noise around me that I can’t hear the scary self-deprecating thoughts. Can he see all that by looking at a girl walking down a street in here best Sunday dress?
Or what if I didn’t wear my Sunday best, what if I walked around wearing mismatched clothes, or my hair wasn’t combed or my shoes we different ? Would he for a minute have a thought of concern or would he just call me crazy and move on to the next passerby?
I want to say as we get more modern and well read.. we have also become more judgmental and indifferent.
I want to say the world can’t see my mental health concerns till I get to the stage of running on the street naked probably. So even I can’t see the struggles of the lady walking ahead of me. Or the guy who is looking at passerbys.
We all have an Achilles heal. We all have bat caves and gained batman strength through the hardships that has made us the super hero we are today.